Disillusioned?  

Frustrated?

Resentful?  

 Ashamed?

Welcome to Bentley's Blog

 

it's been really hard since my last blog!(?)  ...

Bentley's Blog has often been  described as 'Wacky' or 'Screwball'  and after writing dozens of  blogs the pressure to keep on coming up with amusing / self  deprecating anecdotes has finally got to me -  I'm just not  feeling it anymore!(?)

Now I ask you  ...
 
 
Can there be a funny side to  depression?


Is it possible to  have a laugh in the face of  degradation?
          Where can you get a decent cup of tea these  days?
         Who Cares?

 
Of course I'm no stranger to feelings of  negativity ... In the last year I've stood alone - falsely accused  of TERRORISM -  I've been INTERROGATED at gun point - Been ABUSED & MANIPULATED - RIDICULED & HUMILIATED ... but then  hasn't everybody?

It's all in a days  work at Bentley's  Blog!

 

             and just when we thought all was lost  ...

      out of a Blogtism of Fire came an Earth Shattering  announcement of    

      GARGANTUAN insignificance!

        "JB's new  Website's good to go!"



                 www.johnbentley.tv 
      

So...

Expand your mind

Watch weird films accompanied by weird  music

Journey to another  dimension

Listen to my Dukebox - where you can play two  tunes at once!

Experience Time & Space  Distortion

Read Bentley's Blog - Again!

See (no longer) private photographs from my (no longer) private  collection

Get started straight away - meet me down on the funway at: www.johnbentley.tv  

               and now on with the music ...

Littlehampton? No - just a wee bit tight under the  crutch!

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind  the scenes when SqUeEzE work hand in hand with the Image  Makers & Idol Breakers of the music industry? No? - Well I'm  gonna tell you anyway!  

 
I was sitting at my kitchen table having a  cuppa T and a chat with some pals - when my mobile rings ... "excuse  me guys - gotta to take this call - it's my tailor"   Pretentious? Moi? Anyway the next day I'm off to Mayfair to see Douglas my Sartorial  Stitcher from the very reputable firm of Pogson & Davis, for  a fitting for my official new SqUeEzE suit.

Mr. Punk chewality

We had arranged to meet at midday, and as I  have a fetish about being on time for appointments, I was there on  the dot. Douglas came bounding up the stairs  looking slightly flustered.

"I'm really sorry John, would you mind  awfully waiting a few minutes, I'm in the middle of fitting  with the King of  Greece "   

 
"Listen Dougy old boot - I don't care if you're in the  middle of fitting Cleopatra's velvet quilted knickers  -  just tell the King  to move his arse - we have a 12 o'clock  appointment!"

 That's  Showbusiness!

Probably  the Greatest TV Show in the World!

     it was November the 20th  1982

          and  SqUeEzE were due to appear on America's legendary  ground-breaking comedy show ...

 

 
The Show was  hosted by a 6 year old Drew Barrymore - the youngest person ever to do  so in the history of the TV network. We arrived on the set early in  the day, and the house band - who featured several members of the Blues Brothers   - were running through a shockingly sensational  instrumental version of an Earth Wind & Fire tune - it was  breathtaking - and I remember thinking 'how are we supposed to  follow THAT?!'  But of course we did - with Annie Get Your Gun and  later in the show with Pulling Mussels.

And if you're in  the UK don't bother trying to look it up on YouTube cos' it's only  available in the USA. (swooning / sobbing / blubbering / bed wetting  / self mutilation etc. etc.)

                                   

  here's a photo from that wonderful  night!

 
IT was simply mind  blowing to watch this naturally gifted child actress introduce all  the acts and take part in various sketches along side Eddie Murphy and the  rest of the Saturday  Night Live cast! To do this would be very intimidating for  most people - but Drew made it look as easy as eating chips!  Fresh from her remarkable performance in E.T. she was chaperoned  backstage by 'Uncle' Steven Spielberg.  
 
 
Miss. Barrymore was  so charming that in no time she had us all wrapped round her little  finger. To give you some idea of how meeting this little girl  affected me ... 15 years later I named my daughter after her ...
... to be fair though ... she's never really been happy being called Barry!



it's that Spinal Tap Moment

  SqUeEzE backstage  with Christopher  Guest


"this is Christopher Guest" is how I was  introduced to the famous comedian / actor / satirist  and  musician - but what I thought I heard was "this is Christopher's  guest".  And as he was out of character - I simply  didn't recognise him as the lead guitarist of Spinal Tap.  I  thought he was just a guest of Chris Diffords. So I shook his hand - and in a  rather disinterested tone said: "Oh - so you're Christopher's guest  are you?"  Another Spinal Tap moment?


and now as Alex Harvey might say:  

 
        "NEXT!"



   Civilisation  Ho!

About 17 years ago I recorded a track on a  Portostudio called "Civilisation Ho!"  (that's the name of the  track not the Portostudio) using a few samples from  a Firesign  Theatre record (see pic above)

Then in 2012 Futuristic Filmmaker David Milner was looking  for a groovy soundtrack for his latest movie ... and the rest (as  they say) is his story.  Now everybody's wants a  piece!



Check it all out at:          http://www.johnbentley.tv/videos.html


      Away the  lads!

 
"Some Might Say' that playing in SqUeEzE is a matter of  life and death -

but it's much more important than  that!"



On a Saturday afternoon back in the early  80's Glenn and I went to White Hart Lane to watch a game between Tottenham and Leeds. We got the VIP  treatment in exchange for a half time 'chat' in the middle of the  pitch. Being from Yorkshire naturally my allegence was with Leeds, and I was wearing  my Leeds scarf as we trod boldly out to the  middle of the pitch. Glenn was handling the interview very  professionaly as usual - and everything seemed to be going  swimmingly well. Then the guy with the mic' turned to me and asked  why oh why would someone from a well known London band would  be wearing Leeds  United colours? I grabbed the mic' off him and started  yelling into it:         

                  "cause I'm from YORKSHIRE! YORKSHIRE!  YORKSHIRE!"

The chant was taken up by all the Leeds supporters in the  ground - and e by gum and ecky thump - it were GREAT! Some of  the Spurs fans  were not so impressed however ... and as we trudged off the pitch  back to our VIP seats to watch the second half  - a very  disgruntled Tottenham fan looked over towards me and  sneered - "Oi - why don't you get a wash?"

Football fans eh? Brilliant aren't  they?

till next time ... stay  creepy!


Officer  Bentley

www.johnbentley.tv

WARNING: may contain nuts

     

                      'A' Typical SqUeEzE Fan

IF you have logged onto this blog by mistake, as a precaution please take the following 4 steps ...

1.   remove all restrictive clothing and false hair pieces

2.   make sure you're close to a toilet facility should you feel an unexpected bowel movement coming on

3.   log out while there's still time

4.   ignore all the above

5.   please note that these steps go up to 5

And Now ...

the night I played the Last SqUeEzE gig - EVER!!

(vomiting - screams of disbelief - bed wetting - gurning - shouts of 'who cares' etc etc)

IN NOVEMBER 1982 after a roller coaster ride with SqUeEzE it was time to cash in our chips and head for the hills. Our very last gig (or so I thought) was in Jamaica at The Sun Splash Festival in Montego Bay. Also appearing at the festival were the Greatful Dead * Aretha Franklin * the Clash & the Beach Boys. When we came out on stage the whole audience appeared to be in a coma - they were all lying flat on their backs ~ STONED ~

 I remember thinking that the sea of bodies looked like a forest of trees that had been flattened by a volcanic eruption. This was quite a contrast to the enthusiastic crowds we had been playing to.  Anyway Anyway Anyway - after an earlier encounter with Jerry Garcia (see Bentleys Blog December 2010) I was just about ready to fall over myself - which is a very neat trick if you can do it! 

THE SHOW MUST GO ON ...

Even though it was unthinkable that 'this could be the last time' - we still gave it our all ... and the crowd went ...

MILD!

 Me in Jamaica. Note the T-Shirt given to me by Wavy Gravy!

GT's SUPERGROUP!

1st. came Edison Lighthouse and Palmer

then came Crosby Stills & Ogden Nash

Now make way for Mighty Mcnally Hanson & Tilbrook!

I wanted to check out Glenns new band - so off I went to see his penultimate gig of the tour at the Komedia in Brighton.

It really was a fantastic gig from start to finish! A sell out crowd were rocked and shocked as Glenn Simon and Chris ripped through a spicy set using a number of esoteric instruments. Chris Mcnally was impressive showing off his versatility on Guitar / Bass / Indian Harmonium / Mandolin / Lead Vocals & Keyboards - Blimey!  Simon Hanson was featured on Vocals / iPad Vibes & Ethnic Percussion. And Glenn Tilbrook played as though his very life depended upon it! TRULY AMAZIN! The gap between Band and Audience was bridged!  

And to top it all - at the end of the night - I was generously invited up on stage to play a couple of tunes with these superstars! 

Thanx guys! 

Now THAT'S what I call entertainment!

"and now the English have come to kill us with their music!"

RED SKY TONIGHT - Icelandic tour!

On May 7th 1976, I went on my first ever tour with a band in a foreign land. With it's alien landscape Iceland was an unusual place to start.

RED SKY TONIGHT had never actually played live before - we were a studio band. Visiting Icelandic promoter Thomas Thomasson was in the studio and when he heard our tracks he immediately offered us a tour. I guess he thought that we would sound the same live - the fool!

It was the middle of the 'COD WAR' and Icelanders and Englanders were trading gun shots across the bows of their fishing boats. Tensions were running high. I looked in my diary for that year and found an entry for one of the gigs which l describe as:- a mini Altamont ... scary!

None of us had ever been away 'on tour' before, in fact I hadn't even been in an aeroplane before. We didn't have a Rock 'n' Roll yardstick to slap each other with. But we soon got the hang of it. On the first night of our arrival in Reykjavic we invited some local nutters to a spontaneous party in the flat where we were staying. After complaints from neighbours the police were called out, and the next day we discovered that all the food and drink that had been intended to last for the duration of our stay had mysteriously been consumed. 

I suffered from insomnia the whole time as I could never work out when it was bedtime - in May it never gets dark in Iceland!

Now I know that:- 'the best cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep!' 

HERE'S THE PUNCHLINE ... The morning after our first gig Thomas Thomasson came to our apartment and slammed a newspaper angrily down on the living room table. On the front page there was a big headline and a photo of RED SKY TONIGHT.

As none of us could read (Icelandic obviously) I asked for a translation ...

Thomas cleared his throat dramatically ...

"AND NOW THE ENGLISH HAVE COME TO KILL US WITH THEIR MUSIC!"

..... you can't buy publicity like that! - absolutely priceless! 

Dr Bentley (practicing medicine until he gets it right)  Asks:

  "Do you have an embarrassing medical condition -

   or any sexual problems?"

sorry about that - but there's not much I can do about it is there?

Bentley's Blog .... what exactly is it?

a sadistic cult?

or a cure for baldness? ... you decide!

DJ Shakespeare changed my life!

31/12/2011

I happen to hate New Years Eve ... everybody goes out desperate to have fun, trying to celebrate in some pathetic little way. Celebrate what? Another year closer to the grave? I didn't think that 2011 should be an exception, but then i heard the DJ Shakespeare was playing...  eeeeYahooo!!  But who? (I hear you ask) is DJ Shakespeare? None other than our very own double Ivor novello Award winner Chris Difford - that's who!! Spinning virtual vinyl on his virtual deck app, CD kept the crowd on a high all night with a hotpot of vintage soul and dance floor classics. eeeeYaaaaaHoooo!

Become a UFO abductee ...

     

Just send £35 in a plain brown envelope marked:- I wanna be a UFO abductee! to Bentleys Blog.

And if (after your Close Encounter with an anal probe - owch!) you're not 100% satisfied -

we'll send you triple your money back!

At last - its ...

the Boneshakers!   (who?)

Yes Folks the long awaited debut of the Boneshakers takes place at the Tudor Tavern on Saturday the 14th of January 2012.

the line up:

Ead Clear on Vocals / Guitar / Piano / & Bass (but not simultaneously)

Stephen (two doctors) Cass on Vocals & Drums

Johnny Blogger on Guitar / Bass & Vocals

NEXT TIME IN BENTLEY'S BLOG ...

'Saturday Night Live' - the best SqUeEzE TV show EVER? - You decide!

so until then then ...

I'm blogginoff

JB Lovecorpse

disclaimer

```````````````

Anybody reading Bentleys Blog does so at their own risk. 

don't say I didn't warn ya! ....  eeeeYaaaHooo!

I think therefore I am ...

   

                                                                                              ... going to have lunch

  click on this link to watch my eating disorder video:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDwCUTtOnVE

                                                    

                                                      

 As you read through Bentleys Blog 

 do you begin to experience something different now

 from any other time in your life? 

 Can you feel some kind of ecstatic force emanating from the text? 

 Or have you just had an excellent bowel movement?

 a case of mistaken identity ...

                                                       

                                                   

It was the Winter of 2010 and we were out on the road during the Spot the Difference tour of the UK. After being cooped up inside our tour bus for several hours - we decided to stretch our legs - and other appendages on the forecourt of a service station on the M6 - like the Stones said "we can p**s anywhere". 

Simon Hanson (a sort of Russel Brand with knobs on) suddenly begins running through our infamous dance routine in a hopeless attempt to get it right. The rest of the band spontaneously join in. Just then a Ford Transit pulls up at the pumps, a couple of Scousers jump out, and are immediately confronted by the ridiculous sight of five middle aged men choreographing a dance a routine to a backing of complete silence. It must have been like stumbling onto the set of Saturday Night Fever (?!?) We completed the routine reasonably successfully and everybody cheered and clapped. Then one of the Scousers approached us and asked ...   

                                         "Are yous de Happy Mundays?"   

              

         BLOGSPIRACY THEORY #1.

       the iLLuminati - Knights Templar - the Masons -  

          New World Order - they're all out to get us - 

          and the nuclear death ray is pointed at YOU!   

                                  aaaaaaggh!

        

    For those about to Blog - we salute you!

  here at Bentleys Blog Headquarters (where's that then?) we take your comments  

      vicariously (what ever that means) add a pinch of salt - swallow them whole - 

        and then throw 'em back up again!

        So in honour of my 'Great Readership' ... l proudly present:

      

         Bentleys Blog Top 10 Readers Comments ...

    ... read 'em and wee (p)

     #1 ... 

    "at last - a literary experience I can use as a laxative!" 

                      ..... Colin Hatfield

    #2 ... 

    "the more I read Bentleys Blog the less I know"

                      ..... Rev. Swami Lovecorpse

    #3 ... 

    "the best thing about Bentleys Blog is that it's free - can I claim 

     anything back for therapy?"

                      ..... Vernon Steroid

    #4 ...

    "Ich bin ein gerfloggen!"

                      ..... Stephen Large 

    #5 ...

     "Last night I dreamt that I was abducted by Bentleys Blog - Now 

      THAT'S really scary!"

                      ..... Ted Drummond

    #6 ...

      "Brrr it's cold outside ... more wise words from John the Blogtist  

       please to help me

       through these Winter nights wrapped up by the telly, nappys 

       smelly ... can always

       hose you down & whip you with a birch branch ... Tempted??

                        ..... Viking Girl

    #7 ...

      "Whats this got to do with ze Pope?"

                        ..... Keith Hale

    #8 ...

     "Are you part Yeti?"

                        ..... Anon E Mouse

    #9 ...

     "Dem cum - deem go - deem melt like snow - who deem be? - Dem 

      Bombo!"

                        ..... Bombo Combo

    #10 ...

     "Ahh Viking Girl - what would I do without you? ... Well there'd be 

       hardly any comments on my Blog for a start!"

                         ..... el bloggo

     

     (pause)  ... yes yes yes

     #11 ...

      "your blog is a violation - an infestation - congratulation!!"

                     ...... Oliver Mutant (deceased)

       ... and I'm sure you'll agree that's as true then as it was now!

  Bentleys Blog Predictions for 2012 and 'One Step Beyond'

                              

                                                             Topor

Nano robots in government inoculations will take control of our minds. 

All health products derived from nature will be banned to make way for the drug cartels to make even more money by poisoning us with their chemicals. 

Thousands will die of frustration listening to mind numbing electronic phone messages while hopelessly waiting in vain to speak to a human being. 

Our wee wee will be recycled back to us and through us in our tap water.

But what's even worse is ...

... it's already happening!

                                

 the Cult of Blood Donor

                                                              

                        KEITH HALE                                                                                                                           JB

In 1978 I went into Chappell Studios to record several tracks with cosmic euro rockersBlood Donor. Produced by iconoclast Steve James (son of Sid) the tracks have been remastered and released as "the Chappell Tapes".  It seems that after 33 years the group have finally reached cult status! Led by innovative Keyboard Player Keith Hale, the bands line up also featured: film composer Simon Etchell - nut rocker Rikki Legair (deceased) - gong master Gordon Coxon - surrealist Charlie Stevenson (deceased) - and yours truly! 

Click on the link below and have a listen to "Memory Gland". 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ophx1IraATM

thank you for ignoring the following message ...

What is Bentleys Blog? - is it part of a global conspiracy? Or just simply a way of eradicating unwanted hair? Are there mystical messages hidden in between the lines? Or is it just some kind of sick joke? Well I can confirm that it is (obviously) all of these things and yet none of them!

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Shock! Horror! 3 in-a-bed-romp Festive Season Scandal!

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Xmas is Cancelled! 

    Yes - here @ Bentleys Blog Christmas is officially Kaput 

   (ho! ho ho!)  

    In fact we think it makes more sense to have it just  

   once every four years - like the Olympics or the World Cup.

    what you need to do ... 

  Just send a cash donation to Bentleys Blog in a plain brown  

       envelope marked Xmas is cancelled - and if you're not 100%  

     satisfied by the year 2014, we'll send you triple your money  

     back!  

        and now...

      Bentleys Blog favourite chat-up numero uno

      "can l buy you a drink or would you rather have the money?"

     

Chicken Holocaust              

Pity the Poor Poultry ...

Chicken in a casket 

Battery Farms = Death Camps ... and we're the Nazis!

How many chickens have you eaten in your life?

I've eaten 17,846!

    

    see you in 2012 - till then ...

   armageddon outa here!

   

    John the Blogtist
   

      

     acknowledgements ...

     Bentley's Blog - Copyright information:

     Feel free to reproduce this Blog in any way shape or form.

     Any resemblance to actual events or people living or dead is totally done  

     on purpose. 

      A BIG thank you to

for providing me with such damn fine amplification!

it's the Blog NOBODY can understand!

What No Chips?

  

     

     Accept NO Imitations!

     THIS is Bentleys Blog!

     In this Months Blog ...

   Is there Life after Debt?

     Squeeze on the Kenny Everett Video Show

     Revue ... of the Wailers @ the Greyhound Pub!

     The Quintet is Complete! - Final 'Mad' Squeeze Pic!

     Pulling Mussels - get it right troup!

      BUT 1st...

     Attention! Darwinians!

     Do YOU think that we're all descended from Apes?

      Well why don't you put some photos of them up on your walls along with all your other relatives!

      Bentleys Blog ... A Gigantic Space Time Donut!

     I was examined by a psychiatrist the other day... apparently I have O.C.B.D.

     Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Disorder.

     

                        A Breefer encounter still ...

  

                   

   

   Natty Dread 

   I wuz there at the 1st. Wailers gig of the 1973 'Catch a Fire' tour of the UK @ the Greyhound              

     Pub on Fulham Palace Road. Read on ....

     I got a phone call from Snips singer with the Sharks who were stable-mates along side 

     the Wailers on Chris Blackwells 'ISLAND' Record Label ... 

      "you've gotta check out the Wailers at the Greyhound tonight" ... So duty bound - I went along

      to the Pub with girlfriend Janette. Upon arrival I was immediately hussled backstage to meet the band ...

      (why is it always me?) 

     The dressing room was so thick with smoke (Rastaman as opposed to Rothman) that I 

     couldn't quite make out who (or what) was in there ... and what on earth was that sound coming out of their

     mouths?  I could hardly understand a word they said - but I was just fascinated by the patois

     these weird and wonderful Jamaican musicians spoke. I was introduced to Peter Tosh - he looked like Malcolm X

     and (although I didn't realise at the time) actually was a Political Activist and Revolutionary. Blimey!

     Somebody handed me a Spliff ... was that Bob?!  ... even though he was not yet the legend that

     he was to become, I did have a the feeling that I was in the presence of Musical Royalty!  

     In a Babylon ...

     We didn't know what to expect from this strange band from the Caribbean ... we hadn't even heard Reggae Music

     before! - apart from songs like Lie Down Girl (not Lie Down Girl but songs like them) 

     The Wailers ambled on stage in Green Gold & Red (as opposed to Red Gold and Green). Even though it was 37

     years ago, I can still remember the tremendous impact of their opening number - Rastaman Chant ...  

     Bunny Wailer thumped out a slow hypnotic beat on an ethnic drum while the rest of the group 'wailed' over the

     top ... it was Primitive ... African ... Roots ... Reggae ... it was evi ... it was IRI. I turned to share my

     amazement with Janette ... but she had been transported to another world - where Haile Salassie

     was King.

     Better than any ting I ever erd  ...

     Peter Tosh shared the role of lead vocals with Bob Marley and sang a knockout rendition of 400 Years ... 

     The incredible harmonies on Concrete Jungle and Slave Driver were as good as anything by the 

     the Beatles or the Beach Boys! 

     Bob Marley wailed his way through Midnight Ravers - Slave Driver - Lively Up yourself - 

     Stir It Up. My mind was blown - the magic of Reggae had worked its way into

     my heart ... A life changing gig?  Sure ...  I just wish I'd been there! 

    

                                       

          

         Transcend the yawning gulf of space ... just read Bentleys Blog!!

       Rant No. 653

       UNIVERSITY - it's a scam!

       Is there Life after Debt?  

         University Students (in this country) are in debt.  They all end up owing the government

         tens of thousands of pounds for the outrageous cost of this (so called) higher educashion. Calling it a 'grant' is

         a contradiction in terms - It's pure THEFT!

         Why should we pay for a University education at all? - It's free in scotland!

         Innocent school kids are encouraged at an impressionable age - by their teachers and parents to

         study hard in order to get the results they'll need to become 'economic slaves'.

         The Blogtist sums it up ...

         University is NOT the form of higher learning it pretends to be ... 1st. and foremost it is a system 

         designed to keep naive students in crippling debt for their foreseeable future, and in the pockets of

         government psychopaths who have twisted the education system to satisfy their own greed!

         Nuff said .. Rant over ..

         taste the blog  lick this spot  >    O hmmm ... paisley!

       next ...  

     No room for me Nuts Bruce! 

     

    On the Kenny Everett Video show 

       I was in the LWT wardrobe department - looking for something interesting to wear on the show. On one of the clothes rails I spotted a lovely silver and blue lame jacket!  "Elvis Costello wore that on the tele last week" commented the wardrobe lady. "Ooo well then - that's good enough for me" -  so I borrowed it for the show.  (see link below)

But the 'Tale of the Drape' doesn't end there! ... Nooo!

I used to be a Mod!

I also purloined a Green 2Tone suit that I found hung up in one of the dressing rooms that Bruce Foxton had (allegedly) left when the Jam where in there. It fitted - so I nicked it! 

I wore it over the next couple of years until it fell to bits! Thanx Bruce! ...  It was a bit tight under the crutch though!

But what (I hear you ask) about the TV Show?

Well ... We played our latest Single Cool for Cats  (so it must have been 1979!)

The bizarre set included lots of dry ice and an aeroplane! How did they get it in there? Must've flown it in especially for the show. Anyway - happy mammarys ... And now through the wonders of Science & Technology, we can re-live the experience - together! ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsC0T0pKwfw

and now a message from the King of Grease ...

"Since I read through some back issues of Bentleys Blog 

 all my constipation worries are over!"

 ... and the Blog Continueth with ...

 it's a Mad Mad Mad Mad

 

      World pic No.5

"Do You Want Some" (more?)

   

 well that's the full set folks! .. now you can put them all up on the wall!

    now what's this:- ???

    PULLIN MUSSELS - GET IT RIGHT GEEZER!

    Several jolly musicians have put up videos on YouTube demonstrating the bass-line to (among others) Pulling Mussels.

     I watched one of them and noticed that in the chorus of the song where Glenn sings 'Pullin Mussels from a Shell, 

      Pullin Mussels from a Shell'  that the budding bass-player was playing my bass-line in single notes - 

     whereas on the record I play the chorus in octaves ...

     So I just couldn't resist leaving this comment on his Video:-

    "Nice try but - you could improve it by playing the chorus in octaves for starters."

     to which I was happy to get the VERY amusing reply:

     "Interesting bit of feedback considering there are no octaves in Squeeze's original recording"

      

      Priceless!

  

    In next months Bentley's Blog ...

     pull the wool over your own eyes ... it's a Blogspiracy!

     get mistaken for the Happy Mondays!

      Chicken Holocaust - A Blogtism of Fire

     before you go - just ask yourself 

     Why did I read this?

      

       the Blogtist

... and the Blog will set you free

do you know this guy?

In this months Blog ...

My Recurring nightmare 

Learn how to Levitate!

Locked in - in Dublin

madpics 3 & 4

Hanson saves mankind

but 1st...

Daily Quota ..

"l think that anybody who needs to go and see a psychiatrist should have their head examined"

  ... Princess 'wei wei' Noodle 

Meanwhile back on Earth ...

 @ The Great North Run

                                 

Phew! it was exhausting running the 13 miles from Newcastle to South Shields and then having to play a gig at the end of it! But fortunately we didn't have to do the running part. The gig was held in a huge marquee on the sea front. It was chucking it down outside, but that didn't dampen the spirits of the fans in the big tent! We rocked the joint for a good hour and a half, and played an encore of Cool for Cats, Slap 'n' Tickle and Up the Junction. But that did not satisfy the crowd -  No! - they were still shouting for more as Chris Difford sped off in his car to get to - wherever it was he was going! And being the fast mover and shaker that he is - I understand that he got there 10 minutes before he'd set off!

NEWS FLUSH ...

Women are from Mars men are from Venus

... my wife's from Pluto!

Mad   pics

 N0. 3

you'll like this one - not a lot ...

no marX for guessing who this isn't!

BUNK UP NOW!

well, it's 3 am and I am in my bunk aboard the good ship ...

actually I'm on a tourbus heading for the ferry across to Ireland. 

NOW ... do you know the three tourbus rules that HAVE to be obeyed? 

- answers on a £20 note please ... 

No. 1.   when you are in your bunk make sure that you sleep with your feet in the direction the bus is travelling. This is so that if the driver has to stop suddenly, you just break your ankles as opposed to your neck!

No. 2. No Number two's down the loo! 

No. 3. There are no rules

No. 4. (Yes - my 3 rules go up to 4!) 

What happens on the bus stays on the bus... but sadly not anymore what with the advent of 'face buck'. (two puns for the price of one there!)

CONserve Resources..

send all your unwanted body parts to Bentleys Blog c/o

  official ...

and now ....

My Recurring Nightmare (No's 22 & 27) ...

~~~i'm desperately trying to get to the stage - but just cant seem to get there - it's like i'm walking through some kind of jelly - eventually i make it to my amplifier - but where's my bass? there it is! - but why are all the strings hanging off of it? - its all out of tune - i look at the 1st. song on the set list - it's called Pinocio - i've never heard of it!  Glenn counts it in - 1 2 3 4 - 5 6 7 8 - 9 10 jack Queen King Ace - what? - maybe i can busk it - i don't even recognise any of the musicians - but they all seem to know how it goes -  

why oh why oh why is every note i'm playing the wrong one?~~~ ahhhhgggghhhh!!!!

Blog Factor ...

There are 3 things in this world that are INEVITABLE:

DEATH 

TAXES & 

Bentleys Blog

WELCOME to BONOVILLE ... 

 play "Vicar Street" in Dublin

well the atmosphere backstage was very much like being in America. The dressing rooms were plush. The velvet walls of the Artists Chillout area were adorned with original paintings by Bono. There was enough food and drink on the rider to feed the world - 'don't they know it's Xmas Time?'. And everyone spoke in riddles ... to be sure ... All the doors backstage had a code that you needed to remember in order to get in or out. It was the date that Guinness was founded, and I was locked in the dressing room ... was it 1759? no - 1658? no - 

Locked in me own dressing room! Lemme oughta here! I had to phone my astrologer Alan Card to text me the date. It was 1758 ... free at last!  

MAD  Pics No.4 

"there was this guy" 

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~ commercial time ~~~~~~~~~~~

           Put your mouth where my money is and read Bentleys Blog!

And if you're not 100% satisfied - we will send you triple your money back! 

(who is this 'we')

and now ...

Grumpy Blogger has a moan # 643.

Hanson: saviour of mankind? - or just another recession drummer?

He (Simon) told me that he loves writing music - and that he doesn't want any profit from it - he just loves the creative process. Well Simon with that attitude you'll probably be the next Marvin Hamlish!  But seriously - you've hit upon the simple solution to solve all the problems facing mankind.  If only we could all create or manufacture things we love without the motive of profit making - then we would be on our way to a brighter better future. 

Money truly IS the root of all evil! 

Producing goods for profit promotes the manufacture of inferior quality products, and spawns an apalling waste of recourses. These days the things we buy are designed to break down after a short period of time. Then we just chuck away the old one and buy a new one. 

The Wright brothers weren't motivated to invent a flying machine to make money. They were driven by the challenge - by the creative process. 

The worlds resources are finite - and time is running out -  we need to build better quality longer lasting products. Every time a computer or mobile phone is up-dated hundreds of thousands of products become redundant and end up in land-fill sites all over the world. All this waste of recourses could be avoided if the 'money' people designed their products so that they could incorporate up-dates. Of course they could do this - and the reason they don't - profit motivation. 

If everybody could follow Simons Simple philosophy of 

"do it cause you love it - not because you can make money from it"  

then very soon it would become abundantly clear that the monetary system is the one thing that is holding us back from creating a better future for our children. moan over and out ... back on your heads!

in next months blog...

last of the mad pics PLUS

~~~~~

A Breefer Encounter with Bob Marley  

                          or

"Ja Rastafari over ear for de bashment" 

So until then then ...

I don't remember writing any of this!

John the Blogtist

xx