end of blogs ..

Attention!  all you Zombies Drop-outs Deadbeats & Punks ...

welcome to bentleys blog ... the 

                                 

Worried about the End of the World?

Reserve your place in the Post Apocalyptic Future NOW!

Just send us ALL your money (you won't be needing it where you're going!) and if - after the cataclysm - you're not 100% satisfied - we'll refund you TRIPLE your money back!

                                  two hosemen of the PorkLips

Great Newz for Christmas!

according to Mayan Prophesy our lack of future will culminate in mass extinction of species - oh joy!

                            

"Armageddon will overtake the degenerate peoples of the world and all creation, on the final day of the 13th Baktun ... thus our present Universe will be annihilated when  the Great Cycle of the Long Count is completed"  - what? no more telly?!

         

                                    

the World officially ends on 21 / 12 / 2012 

and you're bound to PANIC! eventually... so why not PANIC! now and get it all over with? aaaaaaagh!

Bentleys Blog top ten doomsday hits!

     

1.  eve of destruction -  barry maguire

2.  don't fear the Reaper   -  blue oyster cult

3.  strange fruit  -  billie holliday

4.  paint it black  -  the stones

5,  dark star  - grateful dead

6.  third stone from the sun  -  jimi hendrix

7.  end of the world  - the cure

8.  angel of death - slayer

9.  the end  -  the doors

10. desolation row  - bob dylan

11.  see STOP PRESS below for details

your interminal clock is ticking ...

there's only 13 shopping days left until 

remember to keep all your receipts (just incase)

and now ...

Bentleys Blog Ten Top Tips on
                         how to Survive the PorkaLips!

1.   keep breathing (unless you're under water)
2.   learn to speak Yugoslavian
3.   suffering from insomnia? - make sure you get plenty of sleep
4.   to avoid contaminated water - drink your own urine (you've been drinking it for
      years anyway thanks to the water companies)
5.   keep chanting this Mantra: "don't just do something- lie there!" - eventually
      you'll go completely insane, and you won't have a care in the world (or a world
      to care about for that matter!)
6.   incase of flooding start collecting bottle-tops NOW!
7.   don't forget to feed the cat
8.   wait outside your local One Stop to be rescued
9.   keep reading Bentley's Blog!
10. dont do any of the above
11. remember you're a Womble
* thank you for ignoring this message *

             
                         STOP PRESS!!

       Squeeze rush release their final single:

                                     "there's no tomorrow"



to be continued? ...


see you when I see you  
until then ..
armageddon oughta here!

the new iBentley

www.squeezeofficialendoftheworld.com

THANK YOU FOR IGNORING THIS BLOG!

 

B E N I T O ' S    D I A R Y    

A Tale of Two Viddy's

Friday 19th October 2012

Video shoot for "TOMMY"

11.00 am

I arrived at the film studio in Shaftsbury avenue.

and was ushered into the complementary suite shared with 'the Ravens' string quartet

then I accompanied Simon Hanson to the local Deli to purchase Coffees for the musicians.

"can you get this John? I don't carry cash on me anymore!"

got changed into my togs in a broom cupboard.

meanwhile journeyman Stephen Large was in makeup having his previous makeup removed 

from his appearance earlier in the day on the Breakfast Show in Manchester with Rebecca. 

all this so that he could have fresh makeup applied.

we stood around in the studio for a while watching Glenn and Chris being filmed 

crooning along to the Sultry Strings of the Raunchy Ravens.

then it was our turn...

Colin Rozee (the director) told us to walk onto the set during the chorus's and lark about at the back!

although this direction required no acting ability on our parts what so ever, 

I still found it a bit incongruous, considering the serious nature of the lyric.

watch the final cut and judge for yourself. 

Monday 5th November 2012

Video shoot for  "From the Cradle to the Grave"

11:00 am 

I arrived on the film set in Greenwich - which had been constructed out of rubber 

to look exactly like the Peltham Arms.

I don't know why they just didn't film it at the Peltham Arms - it would've been a lot cheaper.

Simon Hanson had already been in makeup for three hours before anyone had arrived.

"it's me! ... Simon! ... honest!"

I got changed into my togs in the Ladies loo - the Gents was busy.

the concept of the video was to have the song performed by 4 generations of Squeeze.

so ... we filmed our bit 1st. 

then it was the turn of 'the Elder Statesmen' who were absolutely BRILLIANT!

the lead singer had Glenn off to a T.

and the keyboard player was Stephen Large's father-in-law.

next came 'the Junior Squeezers'  fronted by an intense Leon Tilbrook with 

Charlie Hanson on drums (obviously)

at this point the (very proud) parents put on a very enthusiastic performance (out of shot) which included:

frantic arm waving - wild singing along - comedy air guitar - manic conducting - crazy jumping up and down - 

air drumming - and rolling around on the floor! it was totally surreal and hilarious.

finally it was the turn of 'the teenage and 20 year old Squeeze' to take to the stage.

this group of delinquents (see photo below) included a throw away performance from 

Louis Tilbrook on Ukelele and lead Vocals - Bebe Bentley gave a blistering performance 

on my 1951 Precision Bass - they've healed up now - while seasoned Rock God Riley Difford 

looked super cool on Guitar - sensational!!!

"it's a rap" 

the delinquents ....

left to right - Riley Difford - Louis Tilbrook - Bebe Bentley 

Are we hallucinating yet? part ll

OR

Meanwhile back at Honks ...

"Have a listen to this album while I'm out ... it's Crosby Stills & Nash" 

Honk put the record on the turntable, and then left to go and meet up with his American girlfriend Morningflower -

well it was the 60's. 

So .. there we was ... Teenage Rick - Little Ian - & Me  just hanging out at Honks. 

I receive an OBE

With the super-natural effects of the recently ingested Nepalese Temple Balls still buzzing through our heads - 

listening to C S & Nash's debut album for the 1st. time was an Out of Body Experience. 

The lilac harmonies penetrated parts of my ear that I never new existed - 

I was drifting through space in a velvet bubble when suddenly - PLOP! - 

Teenage Rick collapsed in a heap on the floor like a sack of potatoes. 

He'd passed out - his long silky black hair draped over the single bar of the electric fire. 

I looked over to Little Ian and pointed a concerned finger down to Rick -   

Little Ian looked slowly over to where Rick had previously been sitting - 

and then down to where his hair was now smoking -

he turned back to look at me in disbelief ...

 "looks like Ricks head's on fire?!" 

and finally ...

More Bentley's Blog Readers Comments 

(we just love 'em)

"Bentley's Blog has helped me to lose weight - it must be because I keep on throwing up"

                           ...................................................................Granville Pinkerton

"I have a copy of Bentleys Blog in my toilet - I simply can't flush it down!"

                           ...................................................................Rev. Gerald Carpet

"Did you ever find that pencil sharpener? .... I MUST know!"

                           ...................................................................Sgt. Trilby

"I'd like to point out that Pluto in Capricorn is square Uranus in Aries all year, 

 so we might need a few packed lunches - crusts on sandwiches optional - 

 but a nice thermos of tea essential"

                             ...................................................................Alan Card

"I am a regular reader of Bentley's Blog - can I claim anything back for therapy?"

                             ...................................................................Vernon Steroid

"1. do you still have those glasses? 

  2. can I have them?

  3. do you still have that T-shirt and 

  4. can I have it - the Wavy Gravy one?"

                               .................................................................Love Bebe

next time in Bentleys Blog 

the night I got busted for possession of Ginger Nuts!

until then ...

stay creepy!

JB Lovecorpse 

Big Jim Sullivan - Big Talent - Big Heart ...

Big Jim Sullivan one of the greatest guitar legends on the planet is sadly no longer a living legend.

His contribution to British Popular music is Unbelievable - Incredible - Unrivalled.

So Many Happy Memories...

I am proud to say that Jim was a mate of mine, and we played a lot of gigs together ... I remember sitting with him backstage at a gig listening to a radio show featuring Hits of the Sixties - as each record came on he'd say "I'm on this one too" This went on for about 10 straight records and then we had to go on stage!!

Jim did not and could not catalogue every single session he worked on - he told me that quite often he would play guitar on the backing track in the studio without ever having met the artist.  The artist would come into the studio later to record their vocal after Jim had left. So there are many hit recordings that he played on that he had just simply forgotten about!!

His encounters on all these countless sessions with all these sixties legends provided Jim with endless stories - some were hilarious - but the ones l liked the best were shocking and unrepeatable. 

Lucky Me ...

It was an inspiration to be able to play music with Jim.

I was lucky enough to play on several studio recordings with him, and accompany him on the bass at gigs in the UK and abroad.

Just being able to sit with him and watch his amazing technique on the guitar was a unique opportunity for me to learn and be inspired by a real virtuoso.

Outa Sight ...

Jim was one of - if not THE best sight readers on the Planet. His talent for being able to play a piece of music straight from the page, without ever having heard it before, was legendary among other session players. And after playing it as written, he could then improvise the piece in any style imaginable.

Give it up for Jim! ...

I would watch eyes pop and jaws drop in the audience as Jim launched into one of his dazzling solos.

Jim is also responsible for ending many a musicians career - as quite a few guitarists who watched him play - then decided to give it up!

Unlucky Jim ...

The Performing Rights Society collect money for musicians who play on successful recordings.  But this system did not cover the period when Jim played on over a thousand charting entries and over 50 No.1 singles. If these payments had been around in the sixties Jim would have been, without a doubt, the highest paid member of PRS. It was very unlucky and unfair for Jim - but lucky for the PRS as they would've gone bust to pay him his dues!

Top That!? ...

Jim was blessed with an astonishing musical gift, and it gave him the means to enjoy a wealth of exciting and amazing life experiences.

Judging from what he told me - l guess that jamming with Elvis was up there with the greatest! WoW!

Thanks Norma ...

for looking after Jim all these years ...

so sad to see him go ...

J B

check out Jim's Discography here ... it's unbelievable!!

http://www.angelfire.com/rock3/rock-of-ages0/

oops! & Velkommen to Fray Bento's Blog!

 

In this Blog .... - LSD - Nazis - AIDS - Rabbis - Wormholes - and more!

Tune In - Turn On & Drop Out 

Bentley's Blog Baddist ACID Trips ... (don't try this at home!)

WARNING:

Bentleys Blog does not condone the use of LSD. Do not under any circumstances attempt to copy any of the stunts described in this Blog. I was very lucky to have survived the Psychedelic experience. Some people that I knew took a Trip and never returned.

Trip #1 

Are we Hullucinating yet?

pic by Sara B'

... late one night in 1969 - or was it 68? (I can't remember the sixties - so I must've been there!) - Teenage Rick - Little Ian - and myself drank some Electric Cool Aid  (pure LSD mixed with Orange Juice) and then set off from Hull in my Dads white Zepher 4 on a 'trip' to London to visit Honk + - I know I know I know that driving a car whilst tripping is totally irresponsible - and is like a really stupid and very dangerous thing to do - but I had the ridiculous notion from previous experience that the effect of perpetual motion would prevent the hallucinations from taking a firm grip on my reality ... what am I talking about?

the headlights don't work when you're travelling faster than the speed of light ...

... it was a beautifully clear night - and I was behind the wheel - staring out through dilated pupils at the road - which was illuminated by the cars headlights or (in my mind) tractor beams - as we sped along - the road ahead looked more like a wormhole than the A1 - my dads Zepher had transmogrified into some kind of Interstella Spacecraft and was transporting us to another dimension ...  for your information: there is no way of telling which way is up or which way is down when you are travelling at warp speed through a wormhole - but it is the best fun I've ever had with my clothes on! 

Reality Check

... our psychedelic journey was abruptly interrupted when a police car pulled up alongside us in the time tunnel and signalled us to pull over - I managed to stop fairly convincingly - and we all stumbled out of the car - stationary now the hallucinations seriously took over my perception of reality - but we were totally cool with the whole policeman thing as we weren't 'carrying' anything - and we all stood passively at the side of the road starring into outer-space while the police officer inspected the vehicle - he pointed out that one of our tyres needed replacing - we must have have been putting out some weird vibes - and it is my guess that the officer of the law was psyched out - or maybe he just thought we were all from Yugoslavia? - who knows? - who cares? ... anyway this kind & considerate officer of the law proceeded to change the wheel for us - as it must have been obvious to him than none of us were going to do it - satisfied that we were now roadworthy - he signalled for us carry on our journey - so we all piled back into the car - Little Ian took over the wheel - and we drove off into the night minus a few more million brain cells ...

to be discontinued ...

next time in Bentley's Blog Baddist ACID Trips ... find out why Teenage Rick's head burst into flames ...

+ Honk was the bass player with Juniors Eyes who notably backed David Bowie in 1969

Meanwhile back on Earth - the HEAT IS ON!

U.S.A. Tour July 2012 - where temperatures are the highest ever on record!

Squeeze play the Charter One Pavillion in Chicago

the temperature here is 108 degrees. I have been sat on the bus outside the venue now for 6 hours. It is so humid outside that l dont feel adventurous enough to engage with the outside world just yet. The outside world being the 30 seconds it takes to walk from the air-conditioned bus to the air-conditioned dressing room in the venue. 

Its Official:  Blogger is worth $8:95 (approximately £5:52 plus postage!)

VINTAGE ROCK PHOTOS? How dare you?!

Geddit while stocks last!

Neo Nazis in Nebraska

Yesterday we were in Lincoln Nebraska. I went to look at a Vintage Shop with the very Entertaining Mr. Large (who's birthday it was) Happy Birthday old boy! Anyway we were astonished to find among the many interesting items - an action figure of Heinrich Himmler! - complete with the original box. 

The shop owners had wisely taken care to keep Heinrich confined to his box - which had an attached note:

 

 "for historic educational purposes only 

   and not intended to glorify or exploit 

   the horrors and atrocities of war" 

There was a fair amount of Nazi memorabilla in the store - and after some investigation we discovered that there had been a group of Neo Nazis based in the town. Now apparently the fanatical leader of the group contracted AIDS - and as he approached the end of his life his family refused to look after him. A local Rabbi was the only person who agreed to take him in - the Nazi was so touched by his altruism (whatever that means?) that he renounced his previously wicked life with a complete turn around on his death bed!  

there's nothing like a blog with a happy ending  -  and this is nothing like one ...

"Eat Flaming Death Fascist Media Pig!

el bloggo 

Bentleys Blog No. 42

Dear Bentley's Blog ...

                      why don't Squeeze ever play any new songs?

                 ?

New Squeeze Material has Materialised!  

CD-EP "ARSE ABOUT FACE"

track titles                                                                             bit of the lyrics 

tommy                                                      "racist rubbish"

top of the form                     "NORMAL"                   

who's that?                          "as blind as a bat"

honey trap                            "woo hoo!"

Terminate Anxiety ... read Bentley's Blog!

DEATH BY CASINO $$ ...

Somewhere in the middle of the desert - Squeeze play a gig at: Harrahs Casino in Rincon California  

28 / 06 / 2012 - but this isn't a revue of the gig ... nooo

outside in the car park I witness a family feud - the situation gets SO aggressive that they have to be prevented from killing each other by Casino security guards - its like Jerry Springer on Acid - the 'relaxing' music in the lift makes me scream out loud: "Shut the f$k up!" - the phoney politeness dished out by the brain-washed staff at the Casino is enough to make you puke - (I actually did throw up) - the only food available in the Casino is poisonous - quite frankly I'd rather eat my own spleen - standing on the Casino floor I am driven completely insane by the sound of thousands of gamblers simultaneously being robbed by fruit machines mixed in with a cacophony of mass hysteria - all the windows in the rooms are permanently locked so you don't even have the option of committing suicide to escape from this Hell on Earth - and people actually choose this as a holiday destination? 

Bentley's Blog - it's not the answer - but then neither is anything else!

Squeeze the B-52's - "SUMMER DANCE PARTY 2012"

Yet another great missed opportunity in my opinion. Given that the picture features a (rock) Lobster - Surely (stop calling me Shurley) a better title would have been "Squeeze & the B-52's - Giving It All That!"

standing at the side of the stage watching the B-52's in action is a lot of fun. The solid beats and catchy riffs of songs like Rock Lobster and Love Shack (not Rock Lobster and Love Shack but songs like them) had us all doing the Jitterbug / Hitch-Hiker and various other bad interpretations of 60's type dances. Backstage they like to keep themselves to themselves - but I did manage to have a few words with drummer Sterling Cambell who played with Duran Duran and also did a stint with David Bowie. The 52's have six wardrobe trunks to our single one, but Stephen Lord Large and myself have a strong line in vintage Dinner Jackets which give them a bit of a run for their money!  

    Blogger in Dinner Jacket                                                                                                          

 

Take Me to the Geek 

Squeeze at the Greek theatre Los Angeles ...

of course this venue has played host to just about every well known act you can think of - so it's really cool to walk out on to the same stage as ... well just about everybody you can think of!  What about the gig? I hear you ask - well I've used up every cliche I can think of trying to describe great Squeeze gigs - so lets just say that this gig WAS ...

one of them!

LORD LARGE GETS READY TO PRACTICE SOME BV'S FOR TOMMY

Next time in Bentley's Blog ...

my 30 worst ACID trips ...

John the Blogtist