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WARNING: may contain nuts

                      'A' Typical SqUeEzE Fan

IF you have logged onto this blog by mistake, as a precaution please take the following 4 steps ...
1.   remove all restrictive clothing and false hair pieces
2.   make sure you're close to a toilet facility should you feel an unexpected bowel movement coming on
3.   log out while there's still time
4.   ignore all the above
5.   please note that these steps go up to 5

And Now ...
the night I played the Last SqUeEzE gig - EVER!!
(vomiting - screams of disbelief - bed wetting - gurning - shouts of 'who cares' etc etc)

IN NOVEMBER 1982 after a roller coaster ride with SqUeEzE it was time to cash in our chips and head for the hills. Our very last gig (or so I thought) was in Jamaica at The Sun Splash Festival in Montego Bay. Also appearing at the festival were the Greatful Dead * Aretha Franklin * the Clash & the Beach Boys. When we came out on stage the whole audience appeared to be in a coma - they were all lying flat on their backs ~ STONED ~
 I remember thinking that the sea of bodies looked like a forest of trees that had been flattened by a volcanic eruption. This was quite a contrast to the enthusiastic crowds we had been playing to.  Anyway Anyway Anyway - after an earlier encounter with Jerry Garcia (see Bentleys Blog December 2010) I was just about ready to fall over myself - which is a very neat trick if you can do it! 
Even though it was unthinkable that 'this could be the last time' - we still gave it our all ... and the crowd went ...

 Me in Jamaica. Note the T-Shirt given to me by Wavy Gravy!

1st. came Edison Lighthouse and Palmer
then came Crosby Stills & Ogden Nash
Now make way for Mighty Mcnally Hanson Tilbrook!
wanted to check out Glenns new band - so off I went to see his penultimate gig of the tour at the Komedia in Brighton.
It really was a fantastic gig from start to finish! A sell out crowd were rocked and shocked as Glenn Simon and Chris ripped through a spicy set using a number of esoteric instruments. Chris Mcnally was impressive showing off his versatility on Guitar / Bass / Indian Harmonium / Mandolin / Lead Vocals & Keyboards - Blimey!  Simon Hanson was featured on Vocals / iPad Vibes & Ethnic Percussion. And Glenn Tilbrook played as though his very life depended upon it! TRULY AMAZIN! The gap between Band and Audience was bridged!  
And to top it all - at the end of the night - I was generously invited up on stage to play a couple of tunes with these superstars! 
Thanx guys! 
Now THAT'S what I call entertainment!

"and now the English have come to kill us with their music!"

RED SKY TONIGHT - Icelandic tour!
On May 7th 1976, I went on my first ever tour with a band in a foreign land. With it's alien landscape Iceland was an unusual place to start.
RED SKY TONIGHT had never actually played live before - we were a studio band. Visiting Icelandic promoter Thomas Thomasson was in the studio and when he heard our tracks he immediately offered us a tour. I guess he thought that we would sound the same live - the fool!

It was the middle of the 'COD WAR' and Icelanders and Englanders were trading gun shots across the bows of their fishing boats. Tensions were running high. I looked in my diary for that year and found an entry for one of the gigs which l describe as:- a mini Altamont ... scary!
None of us had ever been away 'on tour' before, in fact I hadn't even been in an aeroplane before. We didn't have a Rock 'n' Roll yardstick to slap each other with. But we soon got the hang of it. On the first night of our arrival in Reykjavic we invited some local nutters to a spontaneous party in the flat where we were staying. After complaints from neighbours the police were called out, and the next day we discovered that all the food and drink that had been intended to last for the duration of our stay had mysteriously been consumed. 

I suffered from insomnia the whole time as I could never work out when it was bedtime - in May it never gets dark in Iceland!
Now I know that:- 'the best cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep!' 

HERE'S THE PUNCHLINE ... The morning after our first gig Thomas Thomasson came to our apartment and slammed a newspaper angrily down on the living room table. On the front page there was a big headline and a photo of RED SKY TONIGHT.
As none of us could read (Icelandic obviously) I asked for a translation ...
Thomas cleared his throat dramatically ...
..... you can't buy publicity like that! - absolutely priceless! 

Dr Bentley (practicing medicine until he gets it right)  Asks:
  "Do you have an embarrassing medical condition -
   or any sexual problems?"

sorry about that - but there's not much I can do about it is there?

Bentley's Blog .... what exactly is it?
a sadistic cult?
or a cure for baldness? ... you decide!

DJ Shakespeare changed my life!
I happen to hate New Years Eve ... everybody goes out desperate to have fun, trying to celebrate in some pathetic little way. Celebrate what? Another year closer to the grave? I didn't think that 2011 should be an exception, but then i heard the DJ Shakespeare was playing...  eeeeYahooo!!  But who? (I hear you ask) is DJ Shakespeare? None other than our very own double Ivor novello Award winner Chris Difford - that's who!! Spinning virtual vinyl on his virtual deck app, CD kept the crowd on a high all night with a hotpot of vintage soul and dance floor classics. eeeeYaaaaaHoooo!

Become a UFO abductee ...
Just send £35 in a plain brown envelope marked:- I wanna be a UFO abductee! to Bentleys Blog.
And if (after your Close Encounter with an anal probe - owch!) you're not 100% satisfied -
we'll send you triple your money back!

At last - its ...
the Boneshakers!   (who?)

Yes Folks the long awaited debut of the Boneshakers takes place at the Tudor Tavern on Saturday the 14th of January 2012.

the line up:
Ead Clear on Vocals / Guitar / Piano / & Bass (but not simultaneously)
Stephen (two doctors) Cass on Vocals & Drums
Johnny Blogger on Guitar / Bass & Vocals

'Saturday Night Live' - the best SqUeEzE TV show EVER? - You decide!

so until then then ...

I'm blogginoff

JB Lovecorpse


Anybody reading Bentleys Blog does so at their own risk. 
don't say I didn't warn ya! ....  eeeeYaaaHooo!

References (9)

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Reader Comments (3)

1. do you have those glasses? and can i have them?
2. do you have that t-shirt and can I have it? the wavy gravy one!?

love x

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBebe

If Bentleys blog was a cult, I'd join!

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDvm

Dear Dvm ...

Re: "if bentley's Blog were a cult, I'd join"

What is Bentley'sBlog? ....
is it a cult?
Is it a blog?
Is it fact or is it fiction?
well strangely enough - its non of these things ....
and yet all of them!

Want to form a Bentley's Blog Cult? Simply send us your details scribbled on the back of a £50 note! And if in 10 years time you're not %100 satisfied with the results - we'll send you triple your money back!!!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEd

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