Thursday, February 9, 2012 at 07:15PM Disillusioned?
Frustrated?
Resentful?
Ashamed?
Welcome to Bentley's Blog
it's been really hard since my last blog!(?) ...
Bentley's Blog has often been described as 'Wacky' or 'Screwball' and after writing dozens of blogs the pressure to keep on coming up with amusing / self deprecating anecdotes has finally got to me - I'm just not feeling it anymore!(?)
Now I ask you ...
Can there be a funny side to depression?
Is it possible to have a laugh in the face of degradation?
Where can you get a decent cup of tea these days?
Who Cares?
Of course I'm no stranger to feelings of negativity ... In the last year I've stood alone - falsely accused of TERRORISM - I've been INTERROGATED at gun point - Been ABUSED & MANIPULATED - RIDICULED & HUMILIATED ... but then hasn't everybody?
It's all in a days work at Bentley's Blog!
and just when we thought all was lost ...
out of a Blogtism of Fire came an Earth Shattering announcement of
GARGANTUAN insignificance!
"JB's new Website's good to go!"
www.johnbentley.tv
So...
Expand your mind
Watch weird films accompanied by weird music
Journey to another dimension
Listen to my Dukebox - where you can play two tunes at once!
Experience Time & Space Distortion
Read Bentley's Blog - Again!
See (no longer) private photographs from my (no longer) private collection
Get started straight away - meet me down on the funway at: www.johnbentley.tv
and now on with the music ...
Littlehampton? No - just a wee bit tight under the crutch!
Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when SqUeEzE work hand in hand with the Image Makers & Idol Breakers of the music industry? No? - Well I'm gonna tell you anyway!
I was sitting at my kitchen table having a cuppa T and a chat with some pals - when my mobile rings ... "excuse me guys - gotta to take this call - it's my tailor" Pretentious? Moi? Anyway the next day I'm off to Mayfair to see Douglas my Sartorial Stitcher from the very reputable firm of Pogson & Davis, for a fitting for my official new SqUeEzE suit.
Mr. Punk chewality
We had arranged to meet at midday, and as I have a fetish about being on time for appointments, I was there on the dot. Douglas came bounding up the stairs looking slightly flustered.
"I'm really sorry John, would you mind awfully waiting a few minutes, I'm in the middle of fitting with the King of Greece "
"Listen Dougy old boot - I don't care if you're in the middle of fitting Cleopatra's velvet quilted knickers - just tell the King to move his arse - we have a 12 o'clock appointment!"
That's Showbusiness!
Probably the Greatest TV Show in the World!
it was November the 20th 1982
and SqUeEzE were due to appear on America's legendary ground-breaking comedy show ...
The Show was hosted by a 6 year old Drew Barrymore - the youngest person ever to do so in the history of the TV network. We arrived on the set early in the day, and the house band - who featured several members of the Blues Brothers - were running through a shockingly sensational instrumental version of an Earth Wind & Fire tune - it was breathtaking - and I remember thinking 'how are we supposed to follow THAT?!' But of course we did - with Annie Get Your Gun and later in the show with Pulling Mussels.
And if you're in the UK don't bother trying to look it up on YouTube cos' it's only available in the USA. (swooning / sobbing / blubbering / bed wetting / self mutilation etc. etc.)
here's a photo from that wonderful night!
IT was simply mind blowing to watch this naturally gifted child actress introduce all the acts and take part in various sketches along side Eddie Murphy and the rest of the Saturday Night Live cast! To do this would be very intimidating for most people - but Drew made it look as easy as eating chips! Fresh from her remarkable performance in E.T. she was chaperoned backstage by 'Uncle' Steven Spielberg.
Miss. Barrymore was so charming that in no time she had us all wrapped round her little finger. To give you some idea of how meeting this little girl affected me ... 15 years later I named my daughter after her ...
... to be fair though ... she's never really been happy being called Barry!
it's that Spinal Tap Moment
SqUeEzE backstage with Christopher Guest
"this is Christopher Guest" is how I was introduced to the famous comedian / actor / satirist and musician - but what I thought I heard was "this is Christopher's guest". And as he was out of character - I simply didn't recognise him as the lead guitarist of Spinal Tap. I thought he was just a guest of Chris Diffords. So I shook his hand - and in a rather disinterested tone said: "Oh - so you're Christopher's guest are you?" Another Spinal Tap moment?
and now as Alex Harvey might say:
"NEXT!"
Civilisation Ho!
About 17 years ago I recorded a track on a Portostudio called "Civilisation Ho!" (that's the name of the track not the Portostudio) using a few samples from a Firesign Theatre record (see pic above)
Then in 2012 Futuristic Filmmaker David Milner was looking for a groovy soundtrack for his latest movie ... and the rest (as they say) is his story. Now everybody's wants a piece!
Check it all out at: http://www.johnbentley.tv/videos.html
Away the lads!
"Some Might Say' that playing in SqUeEzE is a matter of life and death -
but it's much more important than that!"
On a Saturday afternoon back in the early 80's Glenn and I went to White Hart Lane to watch a game between Tottenham and Leeds. We got the VIP treatment in exchange for a half time 'chat' in the middle of the pitch. Being from Yorkshire naturally my allegence was with Leeds, and I was wearing my Leeds scarf as we trod boldly out to the middle of the pitch. Glenn was handling the interview very professionaly as usual - and everything seemed to be going swimmingly well. Then the guy with the mic' turned to me and asked why oh why would someone from a well known London band would be wearing Leeds United colours? I grabbed the mic' off him and started yelling into it:
"cause I'm from YORKSHIRE! YORKSHIRE! YORKSHIRE!"
The chant was taken up by all the Leeds supporters in the ground - and e by gum and ecky thump - it were GREAT! Some of the Spurs fans were not so impressed however ... and as we trudged off the pitch back to our VIP seats to watch the second half - a very disgruntled Tottenham fan looked over towards me and sneered - "Oi - why don't you get a wash?"
Football fans eh? Brilliant aren't they?
till next time ... stay creepy!
Officer Bentley
www.johnbentley.tv
Reader Comments (3)
yes officer Bentley you are indeed tight around the crotch, & your punktuality is bang on time!
loving the blog loving you more keep on coming!
Civilisation Ho - Awesome tune, & why didn't you call your daughter Barry!?
Great blog. My head's spinning with all those 'names sweety'. My only brush with rock royalty was once asking Bill Wyman if he'd like his car washed (two 14 year olds in spring '68 knocking on his small mansion door in Keston Park. He answers the door himself (!) and replies, smiling charmingly 'no thanks, the garage down the road does it '). Well, Bill was always the nicest Stone ..he was probably just home from a sesssion making 'Jumping Jack Flash' or some other Stone classic in eye liner and shoulder length hair...this sort of experience marks a teenage pop fan.
Your self deprecating humour is infectious!